Myth #3 Can Never Live Without It
The third myth in our 10 Myths about Porn series of posts is a common one for sure. It’s what you could call the Rubik’s Cube myth of porn. Remember those little mind bender, cube shaped, puzzles that were invented in the 70’s, but really took off in the 80’s? I never solved one and I think I just gave up because I figured I must have had the hardest one or it was rigged!
There are times when it seems absolutely impossible that any progress will be made in gaining and keeping sobriety. So a common myth is simply to be resolved that porn is too tough to overcome, and too much a part of one’s life to be removed. We even begin to believe that God has given up on us, leaving us to our own out of control lusts.
I can say that I’ve been there. I’ve been at that place where I had simply given in to the belief that I could never live without porn or masturbation to cope with life. It is a hopeless and helpless place to be. But many men and women live there, enslaved to porn and sexual sin, but worse yet, living with the belief that things will never, ever change. Perhaps that is the enemy’s biggest weapon. Convincing us to believe that things will never change, and even if they do it will be for just a short time. Last time I checked though my Bible says, “…but with God all things are possible.” (Matt. 19:26)
The real damage that is caused by this myth is that it is often used to excuse the porn addiction. The addict’s excuse is that because they were exposed at an early age, and because porn has been a big part of their lives (prior to marriage or significant relationships) there’s just no way to overcome it.
I’ve heard of one wayward husband who actually told his wife, “It [porn] is as much a part of me as my right arm!” It may be true that porn consumption has been a big part of your life, but as long as you are alive your story isn’t over. As long as you are vertical and breathing God can bring about change!
To confront this myth you have to address the underlying pride that comes with it. That is, the addict essentially believes that he or she is special and unique. They’re convinced that their case is somehow different than everyone else. That no one else struggles at the level they do. In spite of the fact that there are those who know the same journey yet have gained sobriety they continue to believe that it is impossible for them.
The best way to undermine this sort of pride is to pummel it with testimonies of God’s victory in the lives of other addicts. In time the stories paint a picture of hope and healing that show that it isn’t just “other people” who break free but it can be a reality for any addict.