Myth #5 Legit Option for Christian Couples
I had a guy share quite a fascinating story with me about his past porn addiction. He and his wife were regular church attenders and by all appearances a solid christian couple. As he told me his story he revealed that both he and his wife had been into porn. Initially he said he felt like he hit the jackpot! A wife who was also into porn! No sneaking around, or hiding for him, it was on like Donkey Kong (did I just say that?).
But as he tells the story things quickly began to unravel in his little porn dream world. Despite their mutual affection for porn the relationship suffered and they soon made their way to a christian counselor to seek help. Funny thing is, before they ever met with the counselor they made a pact not to mention the “porn thing”. The marriage continued to unravel and eventually ended in divorce.
Truth is there are christian couples that are opting for porn as a legitimate part of their relationship between the sheets. It may be that they see it as a way to rekindle a not so steamy, post children, bedroom experience. Or the guy (typically) has convinced his wife that this is the best way to spice up the foreplay so he can really perform. Whatever the case the dangerous myth that many are falling for will ultimately undermine a marriage destroy intimacy altogether. So why doesn’t it work? Why doesn’t porn provide the gateway to a deepening affection and higher levels of relational satisfaction?
BECAUSE YOU ARE MORE THAN JUST A BODY! There’s more to YOU than just our physical presence. You have a creator who made you with an inner life made up of spirit, soul, and body (I Thess. 5:23). When someone becomes a born again believer they experience God’s presence through His Spirit that indwells them. In I Corinthians 6:19-20 the Bible says that our bodys are the temple of the Holy Spirit and because of that we cannot even claim it as our own or treat it as if it is our own. The passage challenges us to “honor” God with our bodies.
The problem with porn is that it dismisses the notion of a creator and bypasses the reality of the inner life of every individual. It [porn] merely preoccupies itself with the desires of the physical body with little regard for the soul, and spirit. In His omniscience God designed that body, soul, and spirit would work in harmony, with the indwelling Spirit of God giving direction to the whole.
This doesn’t limit or suppress our physical experience of sexual pleasure (praise God!) rather under the Spirit’s guidance it allows the moments of sexual pleasure to be more than the pursuit of physical self gratification. This is when you and I move from being selfish lovers only concerned with how we can benefit physically (hyper-stimulation, orgasm) from the experience to become servant lovers eager to please our mate.
Simply put, porn will always undermine true intimacy because it can never satisfy the deep longings of the body, soul, and spirit the way God designed. Porn is simply a lie that makes promises that it can’t deliver on. It is not a legitimate option for Christian couples who the Spirit of God dwells in.
If you’re a couple caught up in this myth pray, and seek God out on this and you’ll see how He comes through and transforms your relationship. Check out these resources.